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Funeral flowers chosen by the next of kin or close family for the top of the casket or coffin are usually diamond shaped or flowers made into the traditional shape of a cross. The size of the casket flowers are quite often dependant on the size of the coffin however, the same designs are available in varying lengths to accommodate this. Elongated sprays are traditionally made from white lilies with lush green foliage while crosses are normally composed from chrysanthemums or lisianthus, either on there own in the same colour or interspersed with other seasonal flowers. Contemporary designs using the shape of a cross using a few roses and dark green foliage may suit a younger person’s casket.

Heart shaped, circular or square design cushions are a popular choice of funeral flowers for close relatives to send. They comprise of tightly packed flowers, usually chrysanthemums or roses of the same colour with delicate edging of a complementary colour and a simple spray of coloured flowers gently placed at an angle across one corner of the cushion. In lisianthus, white is generally the predominant colour for the cushion bed while the spray can be made from any colour, deep reds and crimsons can look very tasteful. An open intertwined double heart is a popular choice for a partner of the deceased to send, it is possible for the florists to use any small delicate bloomed flower to achieve a serene effect.

Special tributes such as names or items such as footballs or angels can be made by the florist who will work with you and provide guidance and support at this emotional time. Special tributes for children in the shape of a small bear or an arrangement which is upright, such as the gates of heaven, can be made by the florist to express your thoughts at this difficult time.

Funeral flowers in the shape of a teardrop spray or sheath are made with a flat bottom to lay close to the main casket arrangement and are sent by close family members. The flowers are quite often all of the same subtle pastel shades interspersed with foliage. It is common to use white lilies or carnations in these styles of designs. A modern look can be achieved by using a few white Calla lilies laid on deep green foliage and finished with a hand tied bow also made from foliage. Sprays and sheaths can be made in a variety of sizes, it can be a nice touch if the florist incorporates the deceased favourite flower colour and type into the arrangement.

Wreaths in their classic circular design are believed to represent eternal life and never ending love, they are an excellent choice for all family members or friends to send as funeral flowers. The wreaths can be made using classic seasonal flowers packed tightly into the wreath or more exotic and contemporary designs are becoming increasingly favoured by younger people who are looking for something appealing and unusual. Circular willow frames interwoven with Steel grasses and decorated with pastel tones and pale green wispy foliage is an example of a delicate and yet stunning creation which denotes never ending devotion.

Flowers direct are UK flower delivery experts, specializing in Funeral flowers and Sympathy flowers.

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They come each Sunday with their flowers and beach chairs, their photos and mementos of times now past, to sit by the beloved headstones that mark the last resting place of their warrior sons or daughters, these women of Section Sixty. Despite the fact that Arlington National Cemetery has strict regulations regarding decorating trees that stand amongst the headstones, or leaving pictures and sweet remembrances at the gravesites, these mothers leave them nonetheless, even knowing that in a week, or two, or three, they will be swept away by the ground’s caretakers, and that they will come back afterward with new pictures, new flowers, new love.

The Cemetery has become a gathering place for the tears of the mothers who have lost sons in America’s current battlegrounds, and also for the sharing of sympathy, of love, of strength, of courage. They meet each other beside the familiar gravesites, waving ‘hello’ softly to those who are now familiar to the heart, leaving alone those who seem to need their privacy – the ones who have eyes and hearts only open to one voice, one image, one heart – the heart of the one who lays in the ground.

The mothers who return week after week come with small rituals – one with a journal that she writes in, another with balloons to celebrate a birthday or anniversary, a third with a letter, a toy, or a small gift from a young child barely old enough to remember the one lost – a sister or brother who is growing up with a legend instead of a living being. These young ones do not understand death yet, and still they know what reverence is without knowing what the word means. They know enough to leave their small offerings in the hands of the mothers who convey to the headstones, messages from those beloved ones they will never know.

One mother has been coming weekly for the past three years. She is the oldest member of the Sunday group. She says, when asked about the special balloons she brought, that it is her son’s birthday, the third since his death. That she thought it would get easier three years later, but it has gotten harder, for only now is she beginning to realize the finality of it all. Only now is she feeling that he is never coming back. And as she says this to one of the other women - as they both sit and gaze at each other and at the vast sea of white headstones marking the endless rows of graves - as she says this, a tear slides down her face. Just a single tear. All of the tears of the past are now rolled into this one.

The woman she speaks to is silent. She understands silently. She nods, silently. She sits and stares at the flowers she has placed at the based of the headstone – yellow and white daisies and a few white and pink carnations tied with a florist’s bow. They speak to the heart in this sea of solemn markers. They speak of love, of remembrance, of a bond that is only truly known to a mother’s heart.

Each of the mothers of Section Sixty carries the threads of the relationship forward in the only way she knows how, by vanquishing death, by allowing, indeed, insisting, that love is stronger than death and that therefore the relationship goes on and on, as it needs to, as it must.

This tribute to love is fathomless and eternal. It is unending and deep as the ocean is deep. Through Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring, it outlives all that would deny it, all that would seek to place it in a box and put it on a shelf somewhere. Instead, these warrior mothers remain fierce in their devotion to their sons, to each other, to the life of their own hearts. They remain fierce in their determination to remember, to never forget, to never allow love’s embers to die out.

This is their endless gift, the gift that allows love to triumph over death, and they give it willingly, gladly, with an inner need that is ultimately compelling. Over and over they will give this gift until the body tires and the eyes close, and even then, the heart will still remember.

Julie Redstone is a writer, teacher, and founder of Light Omega, a spiritual teaching and healing center in Western Massachusetts. She is also the author of a number of other articles on death and dying.

This article was inspired by an NPR Morning Edition report called “Mothers Bound Together by the Cost of War” by Ari Shapiro and Jim Wildman, June 23, 2008.

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Death, both to the living and to the dying, means many different things. To some extent the meaning is different from person to person but many times our thoughts are based on our religion. Each religion around the world has their own view on death, the process of dying, and what is done after death. These perspectives help those who believe make death more acceptable. Many credit their faith with helping them deal with a mortality issue and others look to their faith in order to help them understand the passing of those they love. Grief is a powerful emotion and how we deal with it may have much to do with our faith.

The Christian Perspective

The Christian grief process is generally guided by scripture from the bible because there are statements such as, “There is a time to be born, and a time to die.” This gives believers the knowledge that we all have our time. For Christians, death is a part of life and many Christians believe that it is their duty to take care of the dying as they wait for Jesus to return. Christians have a wide variety of beliefs after death, but most believe that death is just another part of the journey as we all experience eternal life so long as one believes in Jesus Christ.

The Islamic Perspective

In the Islamic faith grief is something that involves the person dying as well as those around him or her. When someone is dying in this faith it is the job of the friends and family to gather around the ill person and help them remember their commitment to God. Muslims believe that death is the will of Allah. After death the body is washed and wrapped in a shroud. There are specific prayers that are to be said and the body is to be laid on the right side facing the direction of Makkah. In the Islamic faith the family members are to pay off any debts of the deceased soon after death as they anticipate the person being judged after death and want the process to be as favorable as possible. Bereavement in this faith is often accompanied by constant prayer, charity, fasting, and pilgrimage.

The Hindu Perspective

Many people have commented over the ages that grief management seems a lot easier for the people of this faith. While this may or may not be true, it could be owed to the fact that those that practice this religion believe in the rebirth as well as the reincarnation of souls. Practitioners believe that death is simply part of the experience, and that after a time the soul will adjust and return to physical form again. There are two paths for the soul to take after death; the path of the sun and the path of the moon. Those that take the path of the sun will never return again but those that take the path of the moon will return. Many different rituals have been practiced for thousands of years and may help with the grief process.

The Buddhist Perspective

The Buddhist perspective of death is quite interesting and is said to make grief not so troublesome for those that have suffered a loss. The practitioners of this faith do not look at death as a sad event, rather the breaking apart from the material world and material that we are composed of. A Buddhist believes that the soul awakens at death. Before the death friends and family like to be with the person to help them achieve the right state of mind as they go into death. One needs to think of death as their rebirth into another, and perhaps greater, realm than the human world can offer.

The Jewish Perspective

Not unlike Christians, those that are Jewish tend to view death as a natural experience. Many Jewish people believe that death gives life more meaning and that because we know we all must die sometime, we should spend each day living the more pure and ethical life possible. Unlike a lot of faiths, Judaism is a bit different in that they don’t believe that all believers will simply go to Heaven or Hell based on their belief or lack thereof. Instead, each individual will be judged on their ethical behavior during life. For this reason, Jewish people view death as natural but their final judgment by God.

Religious Perspective and Grief Management

As you can see, each religion has their own take on death and this perspective is often what gives people the ability to get through the loss of their loved ones and still have a zest for life. While religion may help to comfort those that are left behind after death, it does not mean that the loss of a loved one will be easy. Grief, no matter what faith you believe in, is a very real and necessary part of the death experience for those who are still living. Strive to comfort yourself with faith based knowledge, but also allow yourself to get depression and grief counseling if you feel you need it, or simply surround yourself with supportive people. You can learn more about the grief process and how others deal with death by visiting GriefManagement.

Mike Vines, in association with GriefManagement.org and GriefManagement.org Forums, seeks to provide a safe and congenial home to those suffering from grief, along with the hope and understanding from a community of concerned individuals willing to share their own experiences to help others through the difficulties of life.

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Having someone that you love commit suicide is one of the most painful human experiences imaginable. It is a sort of grief that is hard to imagine unless you are aware of the victim’s circumstances or know them personally. Even if you have experienced the loss of many other loved ones, even through tragic circumstances, dealing with the grief of someone who is gone because they took their own life is so much different. Regardless of your age or your gender, or that of the person who has passed away, dealing with suicide is never easy. It is a grief that seems more personal than any other kind, and leaves us wondering, sometimes for the rest of our lives, the true cause of their final act of desperation.

A Different Kind of Grief

Dealing with the loss of a loved one whose death was a result of suicide is very challenging. In addition to the immense feelings of loss and sadness you may also be experiencing shock, blame, anger, and trouble understanding what went wrong. A suicide is usually an unexpected death, so it is hard dealing with all of these feelings at the same time. Many people have described the grief process of someone who died of suicide as a terrible roller coaster that just won’t end.

There are many feelings that come with the death of someone that you love in this manner. Some of the feelings that are experienced are guilt, blame, anger, shame, confusion, relief, despair, betrayal, and of course abandonment. This mix of emotions is understandably overwhelming and as a result the grieving individual may feel that they are very disconnected from the person who has passed away as well as those that are still living.

Many people who are grieving after a suicide become obsessed with the need to understand the person’s reasons for their action. This can be an overwhelming need, and one that can never be fulfilled. Because of this, there may be a huge sense of responsibility for the death. Other people get angry and feel as though the deceased went about the suicide as a hateful act; to get back at them for something.

The Stigma Attached with Suicide

The stigma attached with suicide truly does affect the mourning process, more so than a lot of people realize. There are many cultural taboos and religious beliefs attached to suicide that can lead one to be unfairly judged by friends when they really need them the most. Many people avoid the subject of suicide altogether, not ever allowing themselves the time to deal with the grief that they are feeling. The stigma attached to suicide really does leave a lot of people feeling very isolated and stressed out which can make the grief process all the more difficult, and may leave some at risk for suicide or suicidal ideation themselves.

You’re Not Alone

When you are coping with the loss of someone that you love and you are dealing with the mix of emotions and the compounded grief experienced by those touched by suicide, you should know that you are not alone. Annually there are 10 to 20 million people who attempt to commit suicide, and they are people of all ages, races, and social status. In fact, one in four people know someone who has passed away through this means. Men over the age of 70 are more likely to commit suicide though it is seen in people of all ages from the very young to the very old.

Coping with Your Loss

Are you struggling with the loss of someone who died through the act of suicide? It can be very difficult but you need to remember that you are not alone. Coping with the loss is something that everyone does differently, but there are some things that you can do to help yourself move through the grief process. First and foremost, you need to acknowledge the suicide even though it may be against your religious or cultural belief. Next, you should recognize your feelings and the loss that you have experienced. Be sure to talk openly with your friends and family members about your grief, reaching out to your friends.

Many people find that support groups specifically for those that have been affected by suicide are very helpful. There are groups of this type for every age group, so you’ll be sure to find one where you fit right in. Also give yourself permission to struggle with birthdays and anniversaries that are tied to the deceased, as these can be the most difficult times during the year. Try creating or perpetuating a familiar routine that will honor the person that you loved, and their life.

Dealing with the loss of a loved one through suicide is difficult and if you are struggling and just need to talk to someone there is always someone you can reach out to. Even if you don’t feel like you can talk to your friends and you don’t want to burden your family members, there are still other resources. Visit Befrienders Worldwide and you’ll find that there are plenty of people that can help you through this very difficult time. And don’t forget the GriefManagement Forums where a community of folks just like you is willing to share their experiences and offer the support you need.

Mike Vines, in association with GriefManagement.org and GriefManagement.org Forums, seeks to provide a safe and congenial home to those suffering from grief, along with the hope and understanding from a community of concerned individuals willing to share their own experiences to help others through the difficulties of life.

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Sound like a sci-fi scenario? - Unfortunately it is too real. A new and very virulent mutant pathogen has infected patients in hospitals in at least 38 states. Because cases of the infection by these bacteria are not reported in many states, the incidence of infection is likely increasing at a much more rapid rate than has been recognized. Alerts have been sent out by the CDC and other offices responsible for communicable disease control in the U.S. This new epidemic strain of anti-biotic resistant bacteria is now suddenly ranked with MRSA or methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureas (aka Staph) as the top 2 potentially deadly infections that can be contracted during a hospital visit.

What is this new bacteria? It is actually a common bacteria (a bug) that has caused treatable diarrhea in older patients at nursing homes and in hospitals for years. Clostridium difficile or C.diff. is transmitted through contact with fecal matter, usually from hand or food to mouth. C.diff related diarrhea occurs most commonly as a result of anti-biotic use. When certain anti-biotics are used they kill some of the good bacteria in your body that usually keeps bad bacteria like C.diff from flourishing. (C.diff is resistant to most anti-biotics) Ironically, when you are attacked by C.diff because of the anti-biotics you are taking - you must take a specific anti-biotic to kill the flourishing C.diff. Here-in lies the new problem. A mutant strain of C.diff called NAP1/027 resists all anti-biotics and this bacteria is more toxic. C.diff produces spores when it senses that it is under attack from anti-biotics and these spores are not easily killed by the usual sanitization products used to clean hospital environments. These C.diff spores can remain on hospital surfaces for months and can contaminate food and anything touched by hospital personnel or patients. Contracting C.diff, especially the NAP1 strain can lead to uncontrolled bouts of diarrhea, up to 50 per day, and can lead to more serious, imagine something more serious, like C.difficile associated disease (CDAD) and chronic colon problems.

What can I do about it? Not a lot. But here are a few things which may help you avoid infection:

1) Avoid over-use of anti-biotics. Ask you doctor if anti-biotics, especially any anti-biotic that has been associated with CDAD, is really needed for treatment. Anti-biotic over-use is a major reason that these resistant bacteria are mutating.

2) Wash your hands thoroughly before you put anything in your mouth, especially after visiting a hospital or nursing home.

3) Wear surgical gloves if you are caring for patients with CDAD or diarrhea.

4) Do not let severe cases of diarrhea go untreated by a doctor. Unfortunately, common diarrhea medicines can make c.diff infection worse by stopping the bacteria flushing effect of diarrhea. C.diff infections call for more than over-the-counter medicines.

5) If you suspect a problem, call your doctor, especially if you develop diarrhea after tending to a patient or visiting a hospital setting.

Mark Thevenot(aka Steve Thevenot)authors family-friendly health articles. Visitors to his website, http://www.superrxcard.com, can print a free prescription drug discount card that is accepted at over 60,000 pharmacies.

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