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So your love life is deteriorating and you cannot find it in yourself to take the blame. Well, if a couple had something once they probably still have it and just cannot recognize that fact. In the early stages of the relationship there was a reason you called your love “my significant other”. Check out the dictionary and you find significant as “having or expressing meaning/ meaningful”. And guess what? Turn the dictionary to meaningful and what do you find? “Having meaning or to be significant.” Gee whiz, sort of like do unto others as you would have others to do unto you. If you are seeking this sort of information then you indeed do not want to lose the togetherness of your relationship.

More than often there is more than one area of failure in a relationship. As these failures become more and more prevalent blame is placed, and usually lands on the “other” one. No, No, No. If you have any desire to salvage this situation it is time for you to step up and accept responsibility. If you can take the time to discover within yourself situations you have caused (or aggravated when caused by another) you will gain strength necessary to heal. As this strength increases you will learn to recognize healing and your partner will most likely begin to waver in this direction.

Communication. One of the most important watch words in a loving relationship. Right now discover that communication does not mean “talk”. The greater half of communication is the ability to listen. And this does not mean “hearing”. When you learn the skill of listening you will learn where the other person is coming from. You may get a different perspective on problems and this will lead to positive results.

The other “greater” half of communication is the ability to talk. Not inane babbling but the ability to have clear concise thoughts and convey them to your partner. When you learn to do this in a positive manner you will find your partner more acceptable to solving problems. This, of course, will lead to open the door to solve the situation. Choosing the proper words for a situation is extremely important. In order to put a positive spin on a bad situation you must be careful of your partners sensitivities in certain areas. An important skill to develop is the right tone for a situation. Positive and constructive communication is a fabulous tool to use to salvage and save a failing relationship.

You have learned to listen and to talk effectively. Now take a shot at being honest. While this naturally would seem to fall within the spectrum of communication many people opt out of honesty when first repairing a relationship. Lying and concealing will just further deteriorate your situation. This honesty will include accepting responsibilities for past lies and deceits. If you want to heal you must open all avenues of healing. Insert just a bit of positive thought into your failing situation and you will find the solution you are looking for. And without a doubt this new found honesty should be coupled tightly to keeping your word. If your goal is to stay together and you have begun to communicate for heavens sake DO NOT BREAK any promise no matter how slight. Now doesn’t that seem to be a natural combination. The fact that people do not or will not put these two together is one large reason for failure of love.

There are many reasons you first felt love for your partner. And, no, not all of them are sexual. Difference between lust and love is that with lust we want from the other. Love is opposite. A basic definition of love is simply wanting what is best for the other with not thought of personal gain. Give it a try. Get an renewed feeling for the needs and wants of the other. When problems do arise speak up now. Do not wait for this particular pot to boil over! Do what is necessary to solve it now either through compromises or through simply doing for the other. Problem solved. Love enhanced. Relationship further and further up the road to recovery.

So here we are. The two of you have just about given up on a successful relationship. And here you have implemented listening, hearing, doing and feeling for the other. When it becomes natural you will reap benefit after benefit as you realize a love and understanding that was once only a dream.

Gordon Chandler http://squidoo.com/MakeupMagic http://makeupmagic.info

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Over two thousand years has mankind struggled to know all the intricacies of the aloe vera plant. Information found on Sumerian clay tablets dating back 2200 B.C. indicate the plant was used as a laxative. Archeology digs continue to verify an increasing use of the plant in that era.

Further historical findings indicate the plant was migrated from the African continent on into Europe and the Middle East. Usage increased through the ages and evidence has been discovered indicating the Egyptians processed the plant for export around 400 B.C. with the boiled sap being the main product. Searching in the Bible you will also find “aloes” used during this time period. Reading Jn 19:39 indicates that when Jesus died on the cross Nicodemus prepared the body with a mixture of myrhh and aloes, using approximately seventy-five pounds for the task.

The plant continued to spread throughout Asia and India and increasing into other geographical locations. During this process of introducing the plant as a healing “herb” the popularity has waned although never completely losing its attraction as a homeopathic remedy for many ailments and injuries. Sunburns, bee stings, scrapes and bruises: the aloe vera plant became a household staple in many areas for immediate antiseptic and analgesic treatment. Usage for treatments was limited solely on the availability of the plant.

Here we come with the industrial pharmaceutical curiousity. While still not wholly accepted by the medical society the many wonders of the plant have begun to be known. The gel that was squeezed from the plant for topical application for wounds has become known as the source of the majority of the plants attributes. This gel is now known to be comprised of Mono– and Poly–saccharides, commonly known as sugars. These complex sugars are what is now thought to give the plant its healing powers.

Taking a bit of a deeper delve into the chemical makeup. Our bodies require Amino acids for metabolism. Of the necessary twenty we can only produce twelve of these so we rely on diet to supply the other eight. Guess what?–the inner gel of the aloe vera plant contains all eight of these acids. These eight are Leucone, Lysine, Methionine, Phenylalanine, Threonine, Valine and Tryptophan. Recognize the last one? Tryptophan is the ingredient in our Thanksgiving dinners (turkey) which acts as a natural sedative and gives us that wonderful afternoon nap!

Further investigation yields enzymes. Somewhere around eleven enzymes exist in the aloe vera plant’s inner gel. A few would be Amylase, Catalyse, Lipase and Oxidase. All very romantic sounding names, huh? But guess what–all of these enzymes are necessary for proper utilization of the human body in the method known as LIFE!

For pure boredom we could continue on through mineral content. Minerals extremely deficient in the American diet of Big Macs and Slurpees. Minerals and vitamins–again very very necessary in our daily function of life. And to top this off, the aloe vera plant contains Salicylic Acid, a compound that is very close to aspirin in chemical makeup.

So we have a plant that will help soothe a bee-sting. A plant that if utilized properly can act as a laxative. We can utilize the gel-sap as a source of vitamins, minerals, and amino acids. And we have a plant that will help us rest and snooze even if we do not get that big turkey dinner!

Further research has shown the gel to be effective (internally taken) in some treatments of heartburn, helping to maintain blood sugar levels, reducing congestion and soothing hemorrhoids (OUCH!). Big problem in the internal consumption is that the gel is extremely bitter. Tastes HORRIBLE. This would make it necessary to mask the taste for consumption or possess a mouth of very inactive taste-buds. So enters the pharmaceutical companies. Big business always abounds when there is a dollar to reap in a harvest.

With industrial capabilities we can now mash, distill, combine and mix this plant, forming new methods of delivery. There now exists many products ranging from pills, capsules, lotions, creams and sprays. Take your choice of delivery method. Bee-sting? Well just “spritz” a bit on aloe-vera juice on it and get back to playing hop-scotch. Sunburn? Same thing. Grab a bottle of lotion and give soothing relief all over your body. Indigestion, heartburn, congestion, any other ailment? Pick up a box of capsules and go on a regimen of pill popping for relief.

It should be said here, though, that some companies put out an inferior product so you need always be aware of your purchase. There is sufficient information regarding chemical makeup and product forms that no one should be buying anything unaware of what they are getting. So, keep up your own research. Check into what can help you with your situation requiring a boost of aloe vera.

Oh yes–even though you can buy multiple delivery systems of this product there is absolutely nothing stopping you from growing one on your kitchen window sill. Still nothing more soothing that a freshly snapped leaf rubbed over the fingers you just scorched on that hot frying pan!!

Gordon Chandler is a 62 year old semi-retired disabled bored, blah, blah,blah individual interested in spreading the work on just about anything just about anywhere.
http://www.squidoo.com/Miraculous-Aloe-Vera-Fact-or-Fiction
http://www.aloe-vera-nice.info

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You’ve designed what you hope will be the perfect match of a workout program for your needs. You know what type of muscle mass gain you want and you have written out a training guide to get there. You know you will need to ingest the “big” three to avail yourself to proper nutrition. Carbohydrates, fats and PROTEIN. Back to the basics you know that you need to feed a two hundred (200) pound body with about one and one-half (1 1/2) daily grams of protein per body pound. If you are going to ingest up to three hundred or more grams of protein per day you better get to cooking and chewing!

You are set up for a number of small meals throughout the day scheduled to complement your workout and rest periods. Well, get a hold of yourself. Three hundred grams of quality protein equates to about fifty (Yes 50!) medium size eggs. No way? Then grab yourself about three and a half (3 1/2) pounds of cod fillets! One more try? Three hundred grams of roast beef would be about two and one-half (2 1/2) pounds! Might as well throw in the caloric content of the above. Fifty eggs is four thousand five hundred calories! The roast beef? That much cooked cow will give you about seventy five hundred (7500) or great tasting calories.

Think you are set up to eat and work off that much caloric content without turning to a tubby? Ok, where are you going to find the time. Unless you have a cook on call for your six meals then no way you can develop the time to cook that stuff.

Now we are to the supplements. Read labels and you will find that pound for pound and dollar for dollar the powders or drinks will be more cost effective than “food”. If you could ingest solely powders you could get your three hundred (300) grams of protein out of about ONE pound of the product which would yield somewhere in the neighborhood of eighteen-hundred (1800) calories. DON’T DO THAT. While cost effective and easy these supplements still are not food and to derive the same nutrients you will be balancing the diet daily. The majority of your dietary protein still should be from chicken, tuna, etc, etc, etc, etc. So if you are on a six meal day then you would probably be OK with about three shakes maximum per day.

So now we know supplements are easily effective for just under half of your meals. There are hundreds if not thousands brands, type and concoctions of protein supplements on the market. We need quality, so it is necessary to READ LABELS! You can easily omit the ones containing fructose, sucrose, rice syrup and other unwanted sweeteners. Now you need to weed out the questionable ingredients such as aspartame and artifical flavors or colors.

Do your homework. Research the company for reliability and reputation. Products filled with crappy ingredients are and will continue to be on the market because we will buy them. Don’ simply check out the protein gram marker on the label and grab it up. Safe and nutritious can be found from quality manufactures which have a valid and enduring interest in healthy and functional body building.

Flavor? Just like the protein grams listed on the label you might want to ignore the taste until you investigate what the darn stuff if made of. It might prove necessary to sacrifice flavor for quality. Add a banana. Add another properly nutritious flavor in the form of a favorite fruit. If you have a great product that is easy to mix and deliver to your gut then flavor should be way down on your list of wants.

Your choice of protein type might send you into a research fit. Three types of protein are the usual ones on the shelf. Gee whiz—you are back to realizing your goals and pick the type of protein powder best suited for you.

Whey. This protein makes up about twenty (20%) percent of milk. With am excellent amino acid profile along with a rapid digestion this is a good one. Use it before, during and just after your workout. These are the times of the day your body needs energy the most and rapid digestion just might help out!

Casein is another derivative of milk. Making up about eighty (80%) of milk protein. Having a slow digestion rate along with excellent amino acids and peptides use Casein for the times outside of the pre and post workout windows. MAXIMUM benefit realized then.

And good old Soy protein. Arguments are constantly raging on both sides of this protein battle. Advocates claim a super food with “great magical” powers. The other side cites many many detriments of the soy product. So unless you appreciate the taste of have another good reason for use you might just as well leave this bucket of calories sitting on the store shelf.

And of course, if we have different types of protein you can just imagine the number of blends manufactures put on the market. Well, with a blend you can alter digestion time, alter percent of amino acids and peptides. While you could seek a blend out with great benefits you may have to watch what you ingest just prior and just after workout.

So we actually know supplements are great time and calorie savers as we seek hight volumes of protein. Well, back to limiting yourself to thirty (30% or forty (40%) of your daily intake and you can greatly benefit. Just do not forget the nutrients available in the chicken and tunas that are not in the powder. As long as you do not make the mistake that protein powders are a magical elixir then can become a valuable asset to a muscle mass gaining program.

Gordon Chandler is just starting his sixth decade on this upholstered planet we call earth. While currently limited by a heart disorder from lifting he still maintains an interest in what can be accomplished by proper nutrition and weight training. http://www.escapeyourshape.info

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A quick search on the internet will bring you to the following definition of marriage. “A marriage is an interpersonal relationship with governmental, social or religious recognition, usually intimate and sexual, and often created as a contract” Frankly this definition just does not do it for me. I did not marry my wife for social recognition. I did not slip a ring on her finger for governmental recognition. While I did propose to and marry her for an intimate and sexual relation I in no way viewed it as a “contract”

In comparison when we open the Bible we find marriage worded much simpler. If we read Genesis 2:24 we find: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother , and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”. Neither social nor governmental recognition yet a deep and meaningful portrayal of that which is truly meant for man and woman. We find recognition that the spouses shall be of themselves and that the preceding generations, while present, will not be the center of the relationship. We find that the man and the woman will be of one accord in many things in life as they are now biblically of one flesh. And yes we find a very apt description that there is an intimacy and a sexual nature to the bonding.

This bonding came about when God looked at Adam after he was created and realized that oneness was not the correct way for mankind. Go back a few pages (Genesis 2:18) and the Lord God said “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper suitable for him”. In this moment of creation we see the first wedding. We can therefore conclude that marriage is indeed God’s idea. That marriage was designed and instituted by the Creator and we know that that at the heart of God’s design for marriage is companionship and intimacy.

We should therefore conclude that a main ingredient in this design is that the spouses need to love one another. And this is where the troubles begin. Difficulties in the twenty-first century (as well as prior years) rise in that the human population does not understand what love is. Love has become a very shallow and one-sided feeling or emotion. This lop-sided effort of love brings us a very immature concept of love. We find descriptions where love is meant as what others can do for “me”. That “she loves me” has been taken to mean that a wife will not complain when her husband spends Saturday at a sporting event rather that help her with the raising of the children. It has become love when a wife thinks “I want him to bring me roses for I love the smell of them so much.” Many other situations create a meaning of love in which greed and self-thought are the center of the word. A belief exists that love is mysterious and invades you as would a case of mumps. That love is fleeting and will go on its own accord at any time. And beliefs and feelings as these are truly what love is NOT.

Yet again to the Bible. There are over five hundred (500) verses in the Bible relating to love. And in all of them, without exception, define the word as a “purposeful commitment to sacrificial action for another”. There we have it. Love is action, and in that action it does in fact speak louder than words. Biblical love is far removed from the common selfish view of love by the “world” While love in society is based on what you can get, on who will be nice to me and meet my needs, Biblical love is not. This is reflected in Jn 13:34. “A new commandment I give unto you, that ye love one another: as I have loved you, that ye also love one another”. In every instance the love displayed by Jesus Christ was a giving love. A love based in action to and for others. A sacrificial love.

And yet love is enjoyable. Love is that tingling feeling you have for another. For when you love someone you have concern for them. You are not concerned with what they can and will do for you, you have concern for their feelings. Concerns for their health, their future and desires. Love is being in constant thought about your mate and how you can help them in their daily struggles. In your behalf love does mean enjoyment with and of your spouse. Common goals and interests bond spouses in a way no others can be to them. And if we lose this bond on interest and goals we become nothing but room mates as you had at college in the dorms

The Bible has many places where physical intimacy is for the spouses. Song of Solomon 1:2 says “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-for your love is more delightful than wine”. Proverbs 5:19 is very descriptive with “A loving doe, a graceful deer–may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love”. The Lord has placed sexual attraction in the heart of a relationship yet it is not the most important part of the marriage. When we are in a loving (giving) marriage we can enjoy touching and caressing with the knowledge that your spouse cares and this brings security as well as satisfaction to these acts.

Ephesians 5:25—”Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”. Again—sacrificial. When our primary concern is the others happiness and well being then we ourselves will reap contentment and joy from the union. To build your marriage, your relationship, have more concern for the other. If love is indeed action, then treat the other as you wish to be treated. Leave selfish at the edge of your marriage. When you want more love, then pray for more love until you are compelled to love. Do you want to build your love life? Then discover the needs of your spouse and strive to fill them. And in these actions you will find your needs filled to a depth more than you could have dreamed of.

And you will find as in Proverbs 15:17—”A bowl of vegetables with someone you love is better that a steak with someone you hate”

God be with you and your spouse on your journey.

Glchandler http://www.squidoo.com/MakeupMagic http://www.escapeyourshape.info

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To speak of aging and muscle gain in the same body of words requires a few simple rules. It is almost a certainty that if you are over the age of fifty then you have some sort of ailment or infirmity that has come of a life style choice. By definition “aging” indicates that you get older. The sole alternative is to not get any older, and I am sure that most of us wish to live as many years as possible. The goal then becomes to live as hearty and healthy as we can. Exercise is the answer and weight training is a convenient form that is available to all of us. Weight training can be through free weights or machines designed for a specific purpose. However any form of weight training puts stress on your body and detrimental effects need to be guarded against. Therefore it is imperative that prior to beginning any strenuous activity you clear yourself with the medical people. There is absolutely no reason to induce a heart attack if not having a heart attack is your goal!

Reality is that when you ingest more calories than you burn throughout a day you will inevitably gain weight. Nutrition is the KEY to increasing your muscle mass through exercise. You can no more put a body through a work out program without proper intake of food than you can drive your Buick to the mountains without filling the gas tank. The key word is PROPER food. It is time to grab hold of the fruits and vegetables. Whole grains and a source of lean protein are a must. And do not forget to add fat into your diet. Sounds like an oxymoron to suggest intake of fat when your goal is to reduce the amount your body carries. Fat is necessary to our diet. However you need to choose the good fats.

Omega 3 is the fat that is high on the good list. This fatty acid is instrumental in aiding digestion as well as well as having a cardioprotective ability. And protecting your heart is what this is all about. Sources of this oil include fishes such as salmon, walnuts, olive oil, beans and flaxseed. And of course supplements. Choice is up to you but please understand the benefits of this fat.

Along with choosing the proper nutrition for building muscle mass is the methodology of ingesting these calories. Current thoughts are that a number of small meals spread throughout the day is much better than two or three larger meals at the commonplace breakfast, lunch and dinner. We are seeking higher metabolism in order to burn calories and increase muscle. Also by spreading your intake of protein, carbohydrates and fats over the higher number of meals you provide a consistent source of fuel to maximize your body’s ability to build muscle.

Time for the work! This is the area to engage the services of an expert. Get some help setting up a good routine for your age and beginning abilities. If you really want to build muscle you must keep challenging your body. The object is to stress the muscles but not to injure them. This is where you will begin to see some change. However your body has a tendency to adapt to the stress so you will occasionally need to change your weight training routine. Another plus of changing the routine is that you can reduce the boredom of the training. Absolutely no chance of gaining muscle and losing fat through weight training if you get bored the first week and quit.

To engage in a weight training program in our “senior years” necessitates more than a bit of intelligence. This is not the time to try to impress the boys at muscle beach. Your object should be to increase your muscle mass while reducing your body fat. This probably should not be a daily task. If you can set a training schedule of two or three days per week for an hour at a time you will gain significantly. Whatever weight routines you choose you should limit the amount of weight lifted in each one while increasing the number of repetitions performed. The increased reps will help tone the muscles you have while aiding your body to add mass to them.

The routine that you and your trainer choose should contain about eight to ten different exercises. These exercises should be designed to target separate areas such as back, shoulders, arms and chest. Performing each one two or three times for eight to twelve reps per workout should give you the progress that you will like. Please remember to include your age and prior condition into the formula and DO NOT hurt yourself needlessly.

Now we have nutrition coupled with the workout itself. The final addition to this fitness formula MUST be rest. And by rest we really mean SLEEP. Recovery time is a crucial part of strength training. A sixty year old who has not exercised in years quite obviously requires more recuperation time than a twenty year old brick layer! Do not be foolish. Attempt to sleep eight or nine hours per night. This will give your body time to repair, grow and remodel. Also by resting we help ourselves continue with the workout routine. If you are continually bored and tired you will not keep up the good work.

You are older. You must understand that weight training will not produce the muscle mass at sixty as it did at twenty or thirty. However it will produce muscle mass. At any age there is no reason not to look and feel good. While you must be aware of your age do not dwell on it. Consider your beginning abilities and your desire to improve. Combine those two with how much effort you are putting into it and you will grow. Results are a result of the effort you put in and not based solely on how old you are.

So here we are. Nutrition, weight training and rest (sleep). Put into action and you will regain flexibility, increase metabolism (your ability to burn calories) and protect your immune system. A precise combination of these three will provide you with the maximum results. Feel better, look better, and above all LIVE LONGER!

glchandler is an early senior (62) who is attempting to live his words and get on with life. Although disabled approximately eight years I have decided I do wish to live longer and better. Hope to see you around the gym! Http://www.escapeyourshape.info http://www.squidoo.com/musclemusclemuscle

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